Showing posts with label SMS Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SMS Jokes. Show all posts
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
Santa and Banta Singh were very fond of cricket. They would go to every game that happened in their city. One day Santa Singh died in a car accident while he was on his way to a cricket game.
A few days later he came to visit his friend Banta in a dream.
Banta asked Santa if heaven was good. Santa replied that it was better than being on Earth.
Banta Singh wanted to know if there was cricket in Heaven.
Santa Singh said, Well, I have good news and bad news for you.
Banta asked, What's the good news?
Well, Banta, yes there is cricket in Heaven!
What's the bad news?
The bad news is you are opening batsman in tomorrow's game!
Dream makes everything possible.
Hope makes everything work.
Love makes everything beautiful.
Smile makes all the above happen.
So always brush your teeth!!!!!!!!!
One guy boarded the plane rushing in at the last second.
He settled on a seat and had his belts tightened.
Once it was in mid-air, he got up and said "hijack!"
Everybody in that plane including the air-hostesses put their hands up in surrender.
Then,
Another guy on the other end got up and said,
"Hi John!!!!!!!!"
Scientists in heaven were playing hide n seek.
Einstein had to count.
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front
of Einstein...........
Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton
standing in front........
Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton..........
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front
of Einstein...........
Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton
standing in front........
Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton..........
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!
