"Why Can't You Love Me?"

If you love somebody, set them free.

If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.

As the song goes . . . "I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't" . . . and even though we realize this, we hold on, hoping that things will change and something magical will happen to open their eyes and they will finally see how wonderful we are and fall in love with us. But, more often than not, it doesn't happen this way and our hearts get broken and the relationship ends or never begins.

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime." Understanding these words helped me to appreciate the time and gifts that the person brought to the relationship, learn from the experience and harbor no ill feelings. God brought this person into my life for a reason and although I may not know what that was and I will miss them, it is time to move on and let them go. It is a healthier way for me to perceive relationships since I have no control over someone's feelings and no longer lose my identity by trying to make them happy. I have learned to love myself and know when to let go when the relationship is not good for me.

I never understood the power of attraction and what creates chemistry in a relationship. In order to create lasting love you must have more ingredients than just the chemistry . . . you must connect on a much deeper level that can only be felt in the heart and soul. You must have a solid friendship, respect and a feeling of warmth and contentment that comes when they are around. Your morals must be similar and the two of you must be able to communicate on a deep level. Perhaps then if you find all those ingredients you won't have to ask the question "Why can't you love me?"